ive been neglecting xanga!
poor xanga
deprived from recent whereabouts and doabouts of the trookz
poor poor xanga.

here. heres an update, my precious xanga you.

last three weeks i've been at clinicals.
lets summarise.
early to midway: i felt horrible. i felt like crap. i felt like i couldnt really
do anything. and this is the clinicals that we are suppose to impress the most
cuz future job placements will look at THIS particular placement and judge you.
and i just.. couldnt take it. i hated it. i didnt look forward to every morning
and at the end of one day, i actually broke down and cried and even considered
to change course, change my whole career, change my whole life...
cuz ive now been neglecting my cartooning. poor poor cartooning...
but luckily, i saw my rooster after. my trung.
he calmed me down. he told me that everyone hates their job
i refused to believe this. i want a job that i am going to love
LOVE. and that every time i am going to work i wouldnt even feel like its
"work" but more of a hobby. maybe im still living in the ignorance times.
am i ignorant to believe this still may be true?
the reality is: work has mostly downsides.
and in the end, we work, not for the enjoyment, not for other people, but for the money
sigh. money
anyways i moved on, bared the rest of my placement and then i actually eventually got used to it!
i think though there were a few things that helped.
one was the patients. they were sooo nice. sometimes when ive got nothing to do,
i go to their rooms and just have a chat. even though they may be 2 generations older,
i could still hold a conversation. it was nice. and a worthwhile thing at a crappy job.
another was my buddy nurse. she complimented me sooo much! i was really surprised!
i still am! she kept telling me im such a good student, i am the best student she ever worked with, even
better than a 3rd year at another uni (thats apprently better than ours in some peoples opinion)
this support i have helped me get through the mere 3 weeks.
i hope. when i graduate... id be able to cope every single day....
ill need trung indefinately.
i try to be strong for myself. but really i can be weak.
i admit it. i need someone to be by myside to help.
thank god your here trung =P

now im on my one week holidays. one week my BUTT
because of my clinicals it just stuffed up my timing and now im a month behind
my other subjects. and they noth have such a workload!
STRESSSTRESS
man how ignorant i was in year 12.
i had never stressed so much before in my life till year 12.
and we all thought it would be OVER fOREVERRRRR
but it doesnt!
it stays!
with us FORVEERRRR
but im managing. sorta. i try!

and there you have it xanga.
an update from me =D

-truccie

you try to be cool by NOT conforming
and you're cool if others conform to YOU
but if those who don't conform by you,
are very different to you
you marginalize them.

make them the outcasts.

they are the real cool ones.